dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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