I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize