is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
