I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
