you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
