Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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