It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
