we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
