This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
