im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
