After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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