things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize