I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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