If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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