3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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