pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
