a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
