This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
