I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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