Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How many fucks given?
0.12846
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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