Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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