dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
