belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
