soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
