We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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