All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
