What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
