Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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