she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
