Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
