I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
