She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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