honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
