What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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