Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
