my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
