Its about making memories worth repressing
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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