So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
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