Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
