I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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