he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My dick has a subreddit
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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