You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
