I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize