Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm at about main and main street
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
