dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize