Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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