I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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