my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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