i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
