I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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