Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
