Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
