This girl is more easily done than said...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
