I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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