what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize