Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
