Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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