Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
