I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
