I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
