I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
