So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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