Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize