I hate all girls vehemently.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
